Why Disneyland Not Interested in Johor
Recent conversation between President of Walt Disney Park & Resorts and his Senior Vice-President (International Marketing):
So what's the latest on the international front?
Let's see. Yes, we have an enquiry from Malaisher.
Malaisher? Where's that? In Thailand?
No, that's somewhere south of Thailand. Small country, shaped like a banana.
Okay, what do they want?
They are interested in setting up Disneyland there.
Oh really? That must be near Hongkong. How are we doing in Hongkong?
Oh Hongkong is fine. That's because the weather in Hongkong is great, very conducive to outdoor action for the whole family.
What about the weather in Malaisher then?
Blistering hot, up to the thirties. Then they have two monsoons, six months apart.
Hmm, go on.
And when it rains, the place floods like hell. Cars washed away, trees uprooted, landslides.
You're kidding.
No sir. I've got a report here that says only 4 days ago an Indonesian community was washed away by a landslide.
Indonesian community? I thought you said Malaisher?
Oh yes, but they have hundreds of thousands of illegal workers, mainly from Indonesia.
What's the crime rate like in Malaisher?
Pretty bad. Snatch thieves, robberies, murders and bodies dumped in rivers, children kidnapped and killed ... last week a little girl was found dead. And the crime rate is expected to go up.
Expected to go up? Who said that?
The police themselves. They threatened to let the crime rate go up if the government sets up a commission that all of them don't like. See, it's here on the Net.
They even circulated that kind of threat on the Net?
Apparently a dumb corporal did it by mistake.
Tell me more about the police there.
Well, a report here says last week there was a peaceful demonstration against some tariff hikes and the police bashed them up, beat the hell out of them. I've got pictures.
Sounds brutally efficient.
Not really, cos last month there was another demonstration; this time against a forum that was being held in a hotel, and the police couldn't control that crowd. They actually asked the people in the forum to go home.
What more can you tell me about Malaisher?
Let's see ... oh yes, they produce fake DVDs by the thousands and actually sell them openly.
Gee, that bad huh? Well we can't let them touch our merchandise then, can we?
No sir. Oh, one more thing. They support Iran's nuclear program.
Tell me you're kidding!
No sir, they just had a regional meeting and their PM declared his stand. It's all in their on-line news.
Alright, I've heard enough. Listen, there are enough clowns in that place already; no need for us to send Mickey Mouse there, period.
So what's the latest on the international front?
Let's see. Yes, we have an enquiry from Malaisher.
Malaisher? Where's that? In Thailand?
No, that's somewhere south of Thailand. Small country, shaped like a banana.
Okay, what do they want?
They are interested in setting up Disneyland there.
Oh really? That must be near Hongkong. How are we doing in Hongkong?
Oh Hongkong is fine. That's because the weather in Hongkong is great, very conducive to outdoor action for the whole family.
What about the weather in Malaisher then?
Blistering hot, up to the thirties. Then they have two monsoons, six months apart.
Hmm, go on.
And when it rains, the place floods like hell. Cars washed away, trees uprooted, landslides.
You're kidding.
No sir. I've got a report here that says only 4 days ago an Indonesian community was washed away by a landslide.
Indonesian community? I thought you said Malaisher?
Oh yes, but they have hundreds of thousands of illegal workers, mainly from Indonesia.
What's the crime rate like in Malaisher?
Pretty bad. Snatch thieves, robberies, murders and bodies dumped in rivers, children kidnapped and killed ... last week a little girl was found dead. And the crime rate is expected to go up.
Expected to go up? Who said that?
The police themselves. They threatened to let the crime rate go up if the government sets up a commission that all of them don't like. See, it's here on the Net.
They even circulated that kind of threat on the Net?
Apparently a dumb corporal did it by mistake.
Tell me more about the police there.
Well, a report here says last week there was a peaceful demonstration against some tariff hikes and the police bashed them up, beat the hell out of them. I've got pictures.
Sounds brutally efficient.
Not really, cos last month there was another demonstration; this time against a forum that was being held in a hotel, and the police couldn't control that crowd. They actually asked the people in the forum to go home.
What more can you tell me about Malaisher?
Let's see ... oh yes, they produce fake DVDs by the thousands and actually sell them openly.
Gee, that bad huh? Well we can't let them touch our merchandise then, can we?
No sir. Oh, one more thing. They support Iran's nuclear program.
Tell me you're kidding!
No sir, they just had a regional meeting and their PM declared his stand. It's all in their on-line news.
Alright, I've heard enough. Listen, there are enough clowns in that place already; no need for us to send Mickey Mouse there, period.
